Which of my feelings are real? Which of the me's is me? The wild, impulsive, chaotic, energetic, and crazy one? Or the shy, withdrawn, desperate, suicidal, doomed and tired one? Probably a bit that is both, hopefully much that is neither.          An Unquieted Mind' - Kay Redfield Jamison

I know that choosing my characteristics, logically, is just that, a choice. I am not the outcome of whatever childhood or upbringing because I can choose to change. Anyone can sit back and review this objectively and know this as truth. I do believe that people are defined by their experiences, yes, but the choice to create new experiences is always there. People who really understand this understand that no action creating experience is really needed at all. If you think that you cannot change then just simply, think again. This can go for pain as well and I think that most people have experienced this on some level. At some point in time most people have been in an uncomfortable situation that at first they might have resisted but eventually just resigned themselves to. After this yeilding the negative seems to become neutral. The discomfort went unnoticed. Like bad tasting medicine or an unwanted shot, the discomfort is always eased when you accept it beforehand. Resistence always seems to make it worse. What a great lessoned learned and we experience it in so many ways all the time. I just can't believe that many people haven't figured out to apply it in other aspects of their lives. This lesson is acknowledged and disregarded so many times. The freewill to choose is not just restricted to action, but many people can't completely understand this to utilize it. This brings me back to the beginning. I know I can simply choose what characteristics I want. The problem is the fact that I can hold such passion for two characteristics that  reside in  extreme polarity from one another. How can I have equal desire for two completely different things?